A Bad Patch. Bad, Bad Patch.

So I started working on the Evil Monkeys' wall quilt.  And promptly remembered why I hadn't ever used this pattern before.  It is Evil.  Pure pure evil.  Which I suppose at least is appropriate.

But O.M.flippin' G.  Eeeeevilll.

Now, the points of Lady Liberty's "crown" are paper-pieced.  The first one took me... oh... about fifteen minutes.  Paper piecing is really, really easy.  And fast.

The rest of the block is patch pieced.  I spent roughly two more hours trying to get three patches sewn.  Well really, one patch.  I am not exaggerating.  Two hours.  Earth hours, not Jupiter hours.

Did I mention that the entire block is only 7" wide?  Yeah.  Seven.  Inches.  Those patches are small.  And curvy. And totally impossible.  Ha.  Like me. Sadly, unlike me they do not redeem themselves with witty repartee.  At all.

I should have known things were bad when the author of the pattern says in the instructions that it's "difficult".  But she also insists (and I'm talking INSISTS, IN BIG CAPITAL LETTERS) that the paper not be removed from the points before piecing the curved patches.

She's a flippin' lunatic.

I tried five times to do it with the paper still on and had to rip it apart each time.  Finally I just threw caution to the wind (figuring how much worse could it really get at that point?) and removed the paper.  It went much better and after two tries I was finally successful.

Although I use that term loosely.

It’s supposed to be, you know, a square.

Only about thirty more to go.

Liberty. A Good Word For So Many Things.

No, today I’m not talking about Liberty of London, although clearly it is one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

  

I’m also not talking about Liberty Valance.  Or the man who shot him.

I’m not even talking about actual “liberty”, the concept of which I’d have to write a doctoral dissertation (or five) to adequately consider.  Apparently.  Good grief.

I’m talking about a quilt pattern.  One that I’ve owned for about 17 years.  That I’m just getting around to trying out.  This week.

And you thought my garment sewing was glacial.

The pattern is “Lady Liberty Goes To Hawaii” by Karen Stone. 

She re-released this pattern when ElectricQuilt put out a digital edition of eleven of her foundation-piece patterns, but my version is the original paper-printed one that was going ‘round the quilt shops before... y’know… there were personal computers.

Seriously.  Before personal computers. Oy veys mir.

You see, a series of unrelated circumstances occurred:

1) the lovely Stephanie at Venus DeHilo made a fabulous version a few weeks ago. 

2) I just spent two weekends completely rearranging, refurnishing and reorganizing the Evil Monkeys’ bedroom, replete with new bedding.  It’s pretty funky and looks fabulous with their new double bed:

But they now have a very large wall over the headboard that is no longer hidden by a bunk bed. 

3) While rearranging/organizing/sandblasting the Evil Monkey Lair, I discovered that the Monkeys can wear all their spring and summer clothes from last year.  All of them.  Not one piece of clothing needs to be sewn. Not even Easter Dresses.  My mind fairly boggled at the prospect, let me tell you.

 

Three seemingly unrelated incidences.  Mulling around in my brain.  What to do, what to do?

Go fabric shopping.  Obviously.

That was obvious, right?

 

Truth be told, I’m feelin’ the liberty of a totally new, non-clothing related project. 

Now, if I can just finish it.  Cleaning out the closets this week pointed out in glaring technicolor just how many UFO quilt tops I have.   What an oppressive thought.

I’ve Been To Oklahoma. But I Definitely Wasn’t Born There.

This is the BEST. SONG. EVER. WRITTEN.

It’s so good, that I actually couldn’t even decide what version to buy.  There’s the well-known Three Dog Night version (have it).  And then there’s the fabulous Ike and Tina version (have it).  Apparently my mom’s favorite local band (Big Loo) used to do a version that she’s actually been known to bribe them with hundred dollar bills to get them to play live (don’t have it). 

And then, of course, there is this:

(Have it.)

 

BEST. SONG. EVER.

(Fine.  I know I said “Kashmir” was the best song ever.  Um.  Whatever. It’s not.  Today.)