Wednesday, February 8, 2012

At Least My Head Didn’t Spin Around. Yet.

Sometimes I wonder about my mental capacity.  (Trust me, so does The Husband.)

A few weekends ago I wasn't feeling very "sewy" but I wanted to do something that would give me a sense of accomplishment.  Mostly because I'd created yet another hideous garment.   (No.  You can't see it.  It's hideousness would burn the very eyes from your heads.  Really.  I'm thinking of calling in an exorcist next week.)  Anyway, my point is that I needed to do something that would result in an actual sense of achievement (instead of needing holy water and a priest).

Enter The Pattern Collection.

I have been downright hoarding patterns.  I'll admit it.  I started sewing clothes about six or seven years ago and I have never, ever, no not ever once thrown away a pattern I've purchased.  Literally.  I have four or five patterns that I bought over 20 years ago in a mad fit of considering garment sewing and I even still had those.  (I recovered from the mad fit pretty quickly and went back to quilting until after the Evil Monkeys were born.)

But for the past two-three (even four) years I really haven't sewn much for myself.  And what I have sewn has been mostly from basic patterns or from my personal sloper.  The large bulk of the patterns in the hoard are either untouched or disasters.  Or both.

Because seriously.  Why did I buy these???

Or these???

My only excuse has to be mental deficiency brought on by the lingering effects of multiple pregnancies.  Er... which is pretty much my excuse for anything that happened for the first six years of the Evil Monkeys' lives.  But now I've hit the magical Year Seven Return To Normal Hormones and really... there is just no rational excuse for owning these:


Yes.  Those are two different copies of the exact same pattern.  Apparently I didn’t think I could figure it out from the first one?  Clearly dark forces were at work here, people.

But I am brave!  The evil pattern demons can’t bring me down!   So I bucked up my courage, dove into the battle and dug through all the pattern boxes.  And ended up culling out 100 patterns.  Well, 97.  Whatever.  These are bundles of ten patterns each:


That's a lot of patterns, people.  I really didn't expect to get rid of that many.   But I've come to the conclusion that between my five years of BWOF back-issues and my current Ottobre subscription... I really don't need any other patterns.  Ottobre more than covers all my kids' sewing needs and Ottobre Woman really covers all of mine.  Ottobre is certainly easier to deal with and better designed than the Big4 generally are.  Plus, quite a few of these patterns are simply the wrong size range for me and there’s not really any point in holding on to those.  (I have no idea why I own so many patterns in size 20-28.  I currently cut a size 12-14. The mind boggles at what I might have been thinking.)

I did keep some patterns.  Mostly Big4 that are still in the Evil Monkeys' size ranges and any independents that might be useful or that I just enjoy owning.  I have a ridiculous collection of HotPatterns and vintage Folkwear, for instance.  Because I will persist in the delusion that I might have lost 45 pounds when I wake up tomorrow.

It could happen.

Well.  At least I achieved my sense of accomplishment for the week.


  1. This post is hilarious! And I can see some good in the Very Easy Vogue 7941. Something tells me I own that pattern!

  2. LOL! I feel your pain. I seem to be unable to give away patterns too--even the ones that are the wrong size! Congratulations on the pattern cull, may I have the courage to follow in your footsteps! :-)

  3. Too funny! I keep waking up hoping the same thing will have happened to me!
    What will you do with all these patterns?

  4. That is a fabulous collection, and I applaud you for actually culling it! I cannot get rid of any of my patterns - I'm a hoarder and I'm not sorry :)

  5. It is a good feeling to have a clean house and clear mind after getting rid of things that you don't love anymore! Happy for you!
    I don't have all these loose patterns because they are not available to buy here, only online, but I have a lot of sewing magazines. And I'm actually starting NOT buying EVERY sewing magazine that I CAN buy! I have progress also!
    Do you want to sell those patterns?

  6. phfft! only 5 years of BWOF? Try every edition since November 1992. ... and then there's the big4 in the big box. plus the weird randoms that are shoved in the cupboard. Oh dear, I do have a problem

  7. Oh, sure, g'wan and brag about your Burda collection. :P

    I need to do this... I am dreading it. >_<

  8. I started sewing a few years ago to make myself some clothes, and now I mostly quilt. This does not stop me from continuing to buy many, many more garment patterns than I will ever use.

  9. I'll spare you my witty ideas on what you may have been thinking.

    So, you've got yer stacks of ten, lemme ask you this, are those stacks STILL IN YOUR POSSESSION? And yes, a bin in the garage counts as possession.

    Also, holy crap, woman! I have nowhere near 100 patterns in my collection, much less 97 to cull! Of course, there are no $1 sales going down anywhere near my current location....

    Good job.

  10. 97 patterns is awesome. I go through mine periodically but am never brutal enough.


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