About Beangirl

Beangirl was born in the cold, dreary, weatherblown plains of North Dakota.

Well.  Actually, it was in May, so maybe it wasn't so cold... but I'm pretty sure it was dreary. It definitely was weatherblown. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. Whatever. Beangirl was born. Someplace that might have been cold or maybe not and was definitely dreary and windy and... dreary...

What are we talking about? Oh. Right.

Moving from the cold, dreary, weatherblown plains of North Dakota, Beangirl went on to live in a whole bunch of other places, like Minnesota, Michigan, New York, New Mexico, New Zealand and New Texas. No wait. Just regular Old Texas. But not Old Mexico, which is a bit further south. Her grandmother lived for many years in Old Mexico though, if that counts. Probably not, I guess.

Beangirl lives with her husband (The Husband), two children (The Big One and The Little One or TLo, a.k.a. The Evil Monkeys) and their cat (Cricket, a.k.a. "GET OFF THAT RIGHT NOW! @#*#$!"). They all live in Old Texas, having moved there (much to their on-going dismay) from New Zealand. Not that New Zealand was any bed of roses, mind you, just that Old Texas is pretty horrific. Beangirl would like to move back to her cultural homeland of Minnesota but The Husband, being a wussy Englishman who hates the cold, has refused to go with her. She's frequently tempted to just go anyway, with the knowledge that The Husband is incapable of managing his own life without her and would, inevitably, have to follow her. (She is also aware that The Husband rarely if ever reads this blog and so she can reasonably express these opinions without fear of the inevitable rain of denial and artificial outrage that The Husband would feel obligated to provide in response.)

Beangirl occasionally sews stuff, usually for her (extremely ungrateful) children and every so often for her (extremely hard to fit) self. She is fabulously talented and gifted. It just doesn't always come across through the limitations of digital media. No. Really. It doesn't. FABULOUSLY talented.  Really.

Beangirl is hilariously funny and should have her own column, preferably with national syndication. This, due to the total flippin' injustice of the world, is unlikely to happen. But it should happen. Really. Injustice!

Beangirl loves to get email and comments, but only if they're sycophantically unctuous. Otherwise, don't bother. Well, go ahead and bother but don't be surprised if she is less than gracious about it. Actually, she's likely to be less than gracious regardless, so it probably makes no difference.

Beangirl likes to use irritatingly unusual words like "sycophantically" and "unctuous". Beangirl has a very very large vocabulary, which she exercises almost exclusively in writing this blog and almost never when speaking. Because she is surrounded by people who do not know the definition of the word "sycophantically" or "unctuous" or even, possibly, "vocabulary" and using these types of words only causes confusion, thereby forcing her to deal with people that much longer while she explains herself in a more monosyllabic way.

Beangirl hates people.