Saturday, September 19, 2009

An Actual Blog Post

...which I'm sure not one single person on this earth will read. Other than me of course. What with me having to write it and all.

Question: How many individual articles of clothing intended for a school uniform can one woman sew in three months without tearing her hair out in sheer horror at the the words "khaki twill"?

Answer: Unfortunately, no one will ever know. She's now sitting in the corner of the sewing room surrounded by piles of fabric, psychotically muttering "brown... it's all... brown...."

So. This year my oldest daughter started first grade and her school has a Uniform Policy. Now, this uniform policy is actually pretty loose. No scary plaid polyester jumpers and uncreaseable white shirts. No hideous pants or skirts whose only advantage is that they uniformly fail to flatter every child who is unlucky enough to wear them. Our uniform policy is, as I said, loose. A blouse or shirt or dress with a collar and sleeves in a solid color. Pants or capris or a skirt or a jumper in khaki, navy, black or brown. Sweaters or sweatshirts or light jackets in a solid color.

Needless to say, this leaves a world of room open for making clothes. And of course I, in my madness, decided to make schoool uniforms a Project.

"Uniforms?" I said to myself smugly. "I can make uniforms. I can make the cutest uniforms George Washington Elementary has ever seen. They will be fashion statements. They will be paragons of school cool. I will have the Best Dressed Child in First Grade!"

"BWAH HAHAHHA!!" I declared maniacally. "Take that! yuppie moms who dress their children in overpriced designerwear! I see your $45 Ralph Lauren Polo shirt and I raise you a custom fitted, perfectly constructed, super-cute jumper embellished with silk ribbon!! Which only cost me $7 in fabric and notions! And I will finish this entire wardrobe before school starts. In four weeks. Ha!"

No doubt the sane amongst you have already forseen the astonishing hubris in this plan and are snorting with derision.

The sane amongst you who actually know me are most likely unable to speak at this moment due to astonished bouts of laughter at the thought that I would even consider myself able, against all previous example, to complete one school uniform item in this timeline. Let alone an entire wardrobe.

And yet, I ambitiously attempted just such a thing. And this blog will show you the results. Well, mostly the results in terms of the clothes I actually managed to produce (as opposed to such results as my running through Hancock Fabrics crazily waving a 14" khaki metal zipper and screaming "Why don't they ever carry any metal zippers samller than fourteen inches in this @!*&@! store?!"). Since (spoiler alert) I actually did manage to complete a few items before school started, enough to at least keep me from having to send a half-dressed child to school the first day. My first posts on this new blog will be about the clothes I completed. I'm also planning on posting them as reviews on PatternReview.com, since at least two patterns I used that I know of haven't been reviewed yet.

And because like I said, no one is reading this blog. Good thing I like the sound of my own... uh... typing.

4 comments:

  1. Hey, you must have been at wit's end that day in Hancock's because you know you can easily shorten a zipper, especially one that isn't a seperating jacket-type zip. You're going to make it, one sewing session at a time!

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  2. Ok, you got MY attention! I'll be following your progress with eager anticipation. This looks like a promising project (for those of us who have the luxury of living vicariously through the poor sod who has to MAKE uniform stuf). I hope you stay sane enough to post every now and then :-)

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  3. Er... yes of course, I can shorten a zipper... it's just that I am not only lazy but also very cheap, and it irritates me to spend an extra dollar on a zipper the bulk of which I'm going to cut off and throw away.

    Yes. I am that cheap.

    Also, Hancock's tends to make me highly irritable.

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  4. I just surfed here from PR, and I can't wait to keep reading! Hancock's makes me irritable, too.

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