The Husband has suddenly out of the blue decided to become a US citizen. This means, should he be granted citizenship, that he can’t be deported. And that he can vote. This also means that we now get to spend vast quantities of time and money on yet another round of Bureaucratic Bingo. It's super fun. I'll give you an example. Here's how you play:
1) The Husband was required, when he applied for and was granted status as a Resident Alien, to provide his fingerprints.
2) These fingerprints are embedded in the "green card" he is required to carry with him at all times.
3) Homeland Security, in processing his application for citizenship, requires a set of fingerprints. They also require a copy of his green card. (The one with the fingerprints on it. 'Member that one?)
4) We had to drive two hours to Ft Worth for him to have his fingerprints taken by Homeland Security. This process took 6.3 minutes. Literally. I timed it. With a timer. Those Homeland Security people were both friendly and efficient. The bastards.
5) Then we had to drive two hours back home. This process cost us $168. Plus $80 in gas. Plus $25 for lunch. For some fingerprints they already had on file.
Bingo!! What did we win?
If, at the end, the answer is not "The right to vote and not be summarily deported" I'm going to be really irritated. We haven't even gotten to The Taking Of The Test part or the fact that The Husband forgot one item in his application packet and when he immediately called to rectify the problem they informed him that they might allow him to continue with the process. Or they might deny his application. They can't say. It's up to the individual processor. That one cost us $780.
Bureaucratic Bingo is the dog people. You should all play!
(I was going to say, "it's the bomb" but then it occurred to me that I probably shouldn't write a post with both "Homeland Security" and "the bomb" in it.
Uh. Son of a—!!!)
And yes, I'm pretty sure that when they say "Resident Alien", in The Husband's case they mean an actual extraterrestrial. It’s the only explanation.