Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A New Series In Our On-going Program

Today we begin a new little series I like to call “Things I Have Learned (But Wish I Hadn't)”.

When the United States Federal Government and/or the United States Army Corps of Engineers are required to perform an activity, there is an infinite band of time stretched out before them to complete said task.  Regardless of their own self-imposed deadlines.

When someone else is required to perform an activity for the United States Federal Government and/or the United States Army Corps of Engineers, those entities believe such an activity should be performed within a time-frame that defies the laws of physics.  Unless you happen to own an army of robots or perhaps some sort of time machine.  They are not interested in the details. The things they ordered today?  They want them delivered. Yesterday.

And no, pointing out to the United States Federal Government and/or the United States Army Corps of Engineers that they failed to meet their own deadlines three times and therefore all other deadlines are now off kilter will not cause any sort of impression on them.  At all.

The United States Federal Government and/or the United States Army Corps of Engineers are quite possibly the largest crack-smoking entities I have ever encountered in my life.

Thus concludes today's episode.  Next time on Things I Have Learned (But Wish I Hadn't): "Human Beings Do Not Come With Two Left Legs -- No Matter How Much You Try To Tell Yourself They Do After You Cut Out That Pair Of Pants.  And No, A Six-Year-Old Will Not Wear Them Anyway".

3 comments:

  1. LOL!! I have a feeling that there are several stories here...

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  2. Hmm, if you start describing govt agencies as crack-smoking entities on a regular basis I'm going to start checking in on your blog just to see the black suit clad, sunglasses indoors wearing, serious figures saying "Move along citizens, nothing to see here..."

    ps, if you do decide to draft my tunic and want further details, sing out. I get a real kick out of being asked for advice ;-)

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  3. It's nice to know that there's actually some criticism coming from inside. Because the rest of the world has been shacking their head for a while now.

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