Monday, August 22, 2011

I Bought A New Friend.

Her name is Fifi.  She’s French.  La. Dee. Dah.

new-friend

Actually, I don’t like her much.  I mean, look at her.   She’s a size 4.

Sheesh.  Some people have all the luck.

Of course, I’ll probably like her better after a few weeks of my corruptive influence, after which she’ll end up looking Just. Like. Me.   That’s my plan anyway.  I’m all about corrupting bi-atches with hourglass figures who are a foot taller than me.  They will go from a size 4 to a size, uh, Not 4.  (You might think I’d at least be happy that I have size 4 shoulders… I’m not.  This just means the rest of me looks that much more Not 4 in comparison.)

Hmmph.  Stupid size 4 French friend and her 24” waist…

‘Course, I didn’t pay much for her.  I guess you get what you pay for in store-bought friends.

I’ll keep you updated on the ongoing corruption.  It requires quite a bit of effort from me, so y’know… it’ll be slow going.  I don’t like effort.

8 comments:

  1. Oooh, I can't wait to see what you do to her. It's totally going to be Sandra Dee at the end of Greece.

    Actually, I kinda hated that ending.

    Anyway. Have fun!

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  2. Erm, Grease. Y'know, the musical. As opposed to Greece, the country.

    I r awesum, I tell ya.

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  3. So I'm guessing she was a one of a kind deal?

    Regardless of the size 4 conundrum, I'm jealous. And that's what you really want from a blog post isn't it?

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  4. 1 word: BATTING
    If you were corrupting me, the word would be BROWNIES, but since Fifi doesn't have a head, that won't work, will it?
    Good luck, and congrats. You will love having her around!

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  5. I'm so envious. I want a Fifi of my own to boss around and force-feed until our silhouettes are identical. Eager to see her transformation...

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  6. Bean Girl, excuse me while I talk over your (virtual) head to a stranger:

    "Oooh, I can't wait to see what you do to her. It's totally going to be Sandra Dee at the end of Greece."

    This made me snort laugh and I wondered if Sandra Dee came home from a Greek vacation with a few extra pounds. I was also impressed someone actually knew such a factoid.

    Just rub the brownies on Fifi's hips.

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  7. No matter that she's a size 4 - I'm still jealous that you have a Fifi in your life.

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  8. That Fifi looks like she is a troublemaker. Better wrangle her in and corrupt her STAT.

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