The Cast of Characters

The Spouse

The Husband a.k.a. "That English Guy Who Keeps Calling"

The Husband was born in Bradford, England. Yeah. Right? It's about what you'd expect. He makes Beangirl drive when they order at the drive-through, because no one can understand his Yorkshire accent on speaker phone. Possibly he also mumbles. Just saying.

The Husband is obsessed with rugby and bad Death Metal (although it could certainly be argued that all Death Metal is, in fact, bad). Currently The Husband is a nurse, which much to everyone's surprise (including his own) he by all accounts excels at.  Despite his atrocious taste in music, Beangirl persists in being married to him.  This is most likely due to The Husband's inexplicably patient nature as much as anything.

The Evil Monkeys One and Two

The Big One a.k.a. "The Weirdo"

The Big One is the eldest child of Beangirl and The Husband. She's 8.

The Big One has the vocabulary of a twenty-two-year-old Harvard student and she's obsessed with cats. It's creepy. Seriously. She wants to be a cat when she grows up and most of her conversations (despite her Harvard vocabulary) are conducted in meows.

In sewing-related news: she's in the 5th percentile for height and weight. She can still wear clothes she got when she was four. She's allowed to do this rather more often than she should be because Beangirl is too lazy to make her some other clothes.

The Little One a.k.a. "TLo"

The Little One is the youngest child of Beangirl and The Husband.  She's 7.

TLo got her nick-name due to her distinct resemblance (in multiple ways) to JLo. She likes to sing. She's a drama queen. She wants things done Her Way Or Else. And she's got some booty. Actually the resemblance is sort of uncanny, come to think of it....

TLo has the vocabulary of a twenty-year-old Princeton student and she knows She. Is. All. That.   Favorite expression? "Talk to the hand."

In the sewing world: TLo is in the 5th percentile for height and the 65th percentile for weight. She wears a RTW size 14 in width and a size 6 in length. Sewing for TLo is something of a challenge.

The Pet

Cricket a.k.a. "I'm Going To Kill That @!#$%#! Cat"

She's the cat. She is a total and complete pain in the ass.   Much like the Evil Monkeys.  She's also, much like the Evil Monkeys, unusually small.  As Beangirl's dad is fond of saying, "She's like a cat... only smaller."

The Author


Beangirl writes this blog and you can learn all about her on the page titled "About Beangirl".  Or you can just read this blog.  She likes to talk excessively about herself.