Hey. Pssst. Hey, you. Yeah, you. You wasting time at work/home/in-the-car reading blogs about sewing. You know you are. I’ve got something for you.
Big In Japan finally posted something on her blog.
You’ll like it. You can try it for free, man.
Yes. I am implying that sewing blogs are like illicit recreational pharmaceuticals.
Oh please, don’t even try to deny it.
People. Some days you just need to listen to "Love Train". Or even better: watch it in a dance line on Soul Train.
Edit: Just to reply to the ever-lovely Kris O’s question (and to completely ignore Angie A’s attempts to convince herself that she is right and I am wrong, which she is not and I most definitely am… no wait… am not… uh… wait… what were we talking about?) Oh yeah, Kris O’s perfectly reasonable question was “Have you ever done a dance line?” To which I reply in a high-pitched shriek, “Are you out of your flippin’ mind!?!?” Er. Which isn’t, you know, entirely the appropriate response. I do realize that. To rationally answer her question I would say, “No. No I have not.” I might also add, “I would rather burn all my shoes or eat mud than agree to such a thing.”
Did I ever mention that I have sort of a moderate case of social anxiety disorder? You know, as bravely portrayed by Social Anxiety Poster Boy, Donny Osmund? Yes. Me and Donny. We are so similar. We are, in fact, both a little bit rock n’ roll. But we don’t like to go to parties and, you know, tell people about it. Ditto on the line dancing. Although, it’s possible Donny would actually like this activity. But then, Donny can dance.
So you can buy this fabric at FabricMart for $13.00/yard.
If you are my secret fashion girlfriend, you can make this out of it.
If you are my secret fashion girlfriend you will also have provided the world with this perfect, wonderful fabric (as seen below). Which can also now be purchased from the good ladies at Fabric Mart for about $25.00/yard.
I’m finding that my secret fashion girlfriend is causing me serious mental anguish and consternation over my finances.
I think we might need to go to couple’s therapy.
This ain’t no disco.
I have been totally swamped with work this past week with more to come this weekend. And that means several things. One, no time to sew. Which annoys me. Two, I’ve been ramping up my very poor nutritional habits and have been absolutely under no circumstances (-shudder-) exercising. Which only annoys me insomuch as it means I will probably have gained five pounds this week.
And naturally that brings me to The Talking Heads.
It’s a logical step.
You know how you can tell you’re old? When you see people do something today that just thinking about it makes you tired, but 25 years ago you thought of as nothing other than mildly amusing. Sort of like snowboarding. Or guys named Jean Paul. Or this video. This entertaining, funny, exhausting video. I wish aerobics class was always like this. I might actually go.
I said might.
Here's something you didn't know about me (unless you are my stalker, in which case I'm calling the police at this very moment):
I used to do origami when I was a little kid.
You are now saying to yourselves, "And this is relevant becaaaause....?"
To which I reply, with a faintly panicked edge to my voice, "Have you ever made a pillow case?"
Seriously, people. Pillow cases. Who knew? Who knew that they would require the engineering skills of a NASA scientist? The mental acrobatic abilities of, say, flippin' Stephen Hawking? The origami skills of, uh, an eight year old?
Whatever.
You may recall that I purchased (or was given) this fabric, which I claimed I was going to use to make pillow cases for the kids.
Amazingly, I actually made.... pillow cases for the kids. (I know. I'm as shocked as you are.) But I didn't want just any ol' pillow cases. Oh no. I wanted good pillow cases. You know. The kind with the little flappy thing on the inside that keeps the pillows from flopping out? That thing. The kids have a set of pillow cases like this that are actually pretty nice (as they came from Pottery Barn) and I figured I’d use one as a pattern. So I did a little investigating to see how they were put together.
Apparently they were not, as I previously believed, put together by 8-year-old slave laborers in Saskatoon but rather by fabric manipulation geniuses... er... geniii... er... smart people.
Or perhaps (based on my ability as an 8-year-old to create flippin' walruses out of paper but my complete inability as an adult to put together a freakin' pillow case) perhaps they were put together by 8-year-old slave laborers. Regardless, it took me two tries with the complex fabric folding to get the little flappy thing and encased hems to come out right. But come out they did.
Ta da! Pillow Case au Flappy Thing. Deux.
(If I was a good person, I would maybe write up a tutorial on how to do this complex fabric folding amazingness.
What? You know perfectly well that I’m not a good person. Sheesh.)
One of the disadvantages to having two babies in a year (other than the obvious utter physical despair) is that said babies grow up basically thinking of themselves as… one unit. Joined at the hip. Peas in a pod. Creepily synchronized like children from The Village Of The Damned, if you will. And of course, what One has the Other must have too.
Does it matter that their figures are so dissimilar they don’t look like the same species, let alone like siblings? No. They must still have the same freakin’ clothes. But only when the mood takes them.
They’re called The Evil Monkeys for a reason, people.
I bought this garment for TLo in June:
It did not remotely come close to fitting her. So I gave it to The Big One instead. You’d think I gave away the flippin’ kitten or something. So, I promised to make TLo a top just like it. Um. In June.
So here we are. BurdaStyle 7/2010 #144. “June”. “July”. Whatever.
Even though this pattern is for knits, I figured it would be fine with the plaid seersucker I bought (you know, in –ahem- June). I also converted the ties to regular shoulder straps with lingerie hardware. Mostly because the original garment had those and that seemed to factor highly in TLo’s covetousness of it.
This pattern had two variations, one as a top with a waistband and one as a dress with a hem ruffle. I used the top length for the bodice and then added the ruffle.
I had a really hard time getting good pictures of this one.
Possibly because TLo’s inner superstar kept coming out.
You know how you’re trudging along through life, sad, disheartened, feeling like there’s just not anything to interest you anymore? Yes. It’s been a long sad haul through the ennui of the world that is fashion.
And then one ordinary day you’re trolling through MyShape.com looking for something, anything to pique your interest, like a teenaged boy desperately looking for free online p0rn…. The boredom. The sameness. The… crack-smokingness of it it all. And then.
What is that??? O.M.G. What is that?? Who is that? Where did this come from??? And why hasn’t anyone told me about it?
Yes. It’s True Love.
ANAC by Kimi. She has HUNDREDS of these, people. All out since only last November. These are just the ones I liked the best. Who is this woman? I love her.
Remember how I love Anna Sui? This mysterious Kimi is like…. an accessible Anna Sui. A down-home Anna Sui. An Anna Sui you can actually go on a date with, instead of just drooling over in a magazine.
Except. (Oh yes, there’s always an “except”). These tops are almost exclusively mesh. It’s a large part of what makes them so lovely. But. How exactly do you wear these? I’m assuming they’re meant to be layered or else worn by someone who has no need for (or interest in) undergarments. But that doesn’t translate so well to everyday fashion for –ahem– those of use with –ahem– a more zaftig look.
I think the fact that I have now found these tops on no less that fifteen websites and yet not a one shows them on anything but a dressform is… telling.
So now I’m stuck. In love. But nervous.
And yes, BS (BWOF) did have that mesh plus-sized top in the latest issue. There is a notable lack of underclothing.
-sigh-
Love hurts.
(edit: sheesh. Ok you really CAN’T put the word “p-0-r-n” in your blog post. Unless you want all sorts of crap comments and email. Son of a—)
(re-edit: That picture is deceptive. Actually she doesn’t have on anything underneath –that I can see– but the part that looks like a sleeve underneath is actually the shoulder seam. If you look at the tech drawing, you’ll see that it has a dropped shoulder. So yes, it’s all just her perky assets.)
So let me just ask you all this: Does your town routinely do holiday celebrations on a different day than the actual holiday?
Ours does. This year (like every year we’ve lived here) our town (and the attached Air Force Base) did Fourth of July… on the Third of July.
They also routinely like to try to do Halloween on days other than October 31. I’m waiting for someone to announce that Easter will now be in August, Thanksgiving will be on January 9th and Presidents’ Day will be celebrated on the third Wednesday in May.
In any case, I hope you have a fun and patriotic Fourth of July. And I’ll be sure to wish you a Happy Saint Patrick’s Day… in September.
Yes. I just spent about four hundred hours messing around with Polyvore. Yes. It is a totally clichéd, been-there-done-that thing to do. Yes. I have a migraine and this was the only thing I could focus my brain on. Yes. I have potentially melted what’s left of my brain on fashion-and-collage pronography.
Ask me if I care. I dare you. Don’t mess with Migraine Girl, people.
On the plus side of this wasted twenty-four hours, I found a line of knit tops I’d never seen before which have totally inspired me.
When it comes to fabric and clothes, we all know there’s always room for inspiration.
Or at least, that’s my story. And I’m sticking to it.
