This Is Your Brain. This Is Your Brain On… uh… TV.

Seriously?

This made me laugh out loud at work.  Which isn't really a good thing.  Because then people want to know what I'm doing when I'm (theoretically) supposed to be working.  Because my job isn’t that funny.  Normally.

They're so annoying, wanting me to do actual work and whatnot.  Sheesh.

But this made me laugh.  Because really?  I think it's totally hilarious that a crass, mass-market-posing-as-exclusivity, "let's all pretend to be living in the Hamptons even though we really live in Indianapolis" clothing store has the nerve to claim to be offended by a crass, manipulated-and-edited-but-posing-as-real, "let's all run around like stereotypical idiots" TV show.

It's like a $500-a-night "escort" who's offended at being compared to a $10-an-hour meth ho.  I'm sorry.  You're both still prostitutes.  I think getting into the issue of "classiness" or a lack thereof is just semantics.

The best part?  This headline has been posted under "Also In The News" on BBC News for over twenty-four hours now.   Apparently, “Also In The News” is BBC code for “This Is Totally Ridiculous But We Thought You Could Use A Laugh Today… And Maybe Tomorrow Too”.

I was just telling Angie A. that watching reality TV is like binging on birthday cake: sure it's fun for a little while, but then you get all queasy and sick.  On the other hand, last night she recommended something called "Dance Moms" that really sounds too good to pass up and also last night my sister recommended something called "Family Restaurant" that, just based on my sister's impersonations of the participants, sounds like something I may have to watch.

I take it back.  It's not like birthday cake.  It's like crack.

Just Say No.

Knock, Knock, Knock-off, Moth… er… You Know The Rest.

I have Beyoncé the Giant Metal Chicken stuck in my head today.

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So check this out: “Beyoncé” is in Microsoft’s Spell Check.

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The mind boggles.

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I’m trying to think up other famous people with made-up unusual names so I can Spell Check them too.

Um…. Condoleeza Rice was the only one I could think of.  She’s in there. 

That is awesome!  Yep.  I think you’ve really made it when you can be generically Spell Checked.  (I can’t.  My life sucks.)

 

Anyway to continue with our story:  I was going to knock off this top from Modcloth.  Honest.

I figured I could use my custom-drafted knit top pattern with the smocked neckline, keep the neckline unsmocked, cut a binding the full length of the unsmocked neckline, make a nice little twisted-binding, run a pretty ribbon or tie through it and gather it up to the desired neckline length.  Easy-peasy.

And I could have done that, of course.  But I didn't.

Because I forgot that I was going to do that and I went ahead and gathered the neckline and then cut the binding strip to the finished length.  At which point I was highly tired of the whole thing and just wanted to get it over with already, so I just went with what I had.  I finished the neckline, tacked a silk tie to the front and called it skippy.

Hence, my version isn't quite so fun as the original.  And also not sleeveless.  Um.  If you didn’t notice.

On the other hand, it has a silk bow on the front.  That can't be a bad thing.  The bow looks better in person.  Trust me.

Of course, the first day I wore it to work my co-worker's immediate response was, "Oh that's cute.  And you can always change out that bow for a black one!"

Which I took to mean, "That top should have a black bow."

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However, today the garment-and-shoe combination seen above elicited (from the same coworker) a heartfelt, "Well look at that nifty outfit you have going on there!" and a ten minute conversation about where I got the jeans, so... meh.  What can you do?  I guess it's working.

I'm going with that.

Yes. I’m That Bored.

I’ve made two tops that actually fit and started a jumper for TLo’s school uniform.  But I still can’t get my camera to work properly.  Although admittedly, I haven’t really been trying that hard…

Still.  Here’s how bored I am, since I don’t have anything to show you from the sewing room:

Yep.  I made a double-sided meal planner/grocery list.  I reformatted my meal-planning sheet and based the list part off an existing list I apparently got from MelanieMauer.com, although I have no idea what I was doing there in the first place.  Literally.  No idea.

Anyway, meals listed on one side, groceries needed on the other.  Most Frequently Purchased items on the list and then a few spaces for extras as needed.  Fold it in half and laminate.  Voila!  Dry-erase magical goodness for the grocery store.  Or in my case, I use a fine point Sharpie and just wipe it clean with rubbing alcohol when I get home.  That way it doesn’t smear all over you.  You know, while you’re shopping in the 112 degree heat.  That you’ve had for 73 consecutive days.  Yeah.  That heat.

Or you can print on both sides, cut it in half and have double-sided disposables.  I actually have both, dry-erase and in a pad. 

Because I have padding compound at work. 

So I make notepads.  Lots and lots of notepads.

Did I mention I was bored?

Yep.

I was going to make a link to download the planner.  But of course, that would mean that you have to buy what I buy.   My co-workers seemed to think having bamboo shoots and coconut milk on my “frequently bought” list was weird. 

I have no idea what those people eat.  We wouldn’t make it through the week without bamboo shoots and coconut milk.

 

Ok fine.   If you want a blank one you can download it here: The I’m-Bored-What’s-For-Dinner Planner.

But it’s not nearly as much fun if you have to write everything in yourself. 

I’m just saying.